Step 4 – Approach and Charm

Step 4 - Approach and CharmIf you get an answer, good or bad, it’s a step forward. It means that the other person found you deserving of a reply. A first impression, can always be changed, it’s only intent is to get the attention and interest of the other person.

At this point, depending on the answer, you should slowly start charming and getting closer on a more personal level with the other. Don’t forget that the thrill an excitement of getting to know each other comes from a back and forward exchange of messages and information. Keep the information flow continuous and simple. Don’t write messages too long or out of the flow of the conversation. Follow the conversation and be quick in your answers. A pause for more than a day might be interpreted as a lack of interest and make you lose your chance.

If you are both online and available at the same time, don’t hesitate to go to live chat. But Never initiate “Webcam chat” without asking before, and you might want to wait for this. The other person might not be ready or in the right place to do this. So don’t be rude, ask politely, and if you get a negative response, don’t try to know why, just tell them that you would like to try it next time. By the way, as a precaution measure, this should not be attempted in the first ten minutes after meeting someone. Be patient, it pays off!

Now, charming someone on an online dating site is not so different from charming someone in real life. It’s just easier and more comfortable. Over the years, there are a few charming tips that I have developed and used in real life as well as on online dating sites.

First tip is to listen and to pay attention, avoid distractions and follow the conversation. This is a lot easier to achieve online because you won’t be distracted by the people around you. Plus, you can always reread the message to make sure you get it.

Second, pay interest in the other and ask questions. During a date, as well as online, a conversation goes both ways, so if you’re talking too much or too less, react. If too much, ask a question, if too less, ask a question, simple. No? But, please, make sure the question is in relation with the subject of the conversation.

Third, skip the boring parts. And by boring parts, I mean talking about the job, family, past relationships, problems, etc. Try to keep the conversation fun, talk about hobbies, travel, funny stories, future plans, fun plans, not plans to buy a house and a dog. Rather, talk about a future travel you want to make, an activity you want to try (bungee, sky diving, scuba diving, etc.).

All of this will build the trust and comfort zone that is needed between both of you. This will allow you to initiate the next step “Set the First Date“.